relationship frustrations

Relationship Frustrations: How to End them Once and For All

Are you suffering with relationship frustrations?

You are not alone. Here’s how Jean from Philly described her relationship frustrations and disappointments:

Jean is Stuck in the “Crumbs” Deadly Dating Pattern.

In this pattern you are involved with a guy who does not provide for your needs. In Jean’s case, her live-in boyfriend was not being intimate with her and not being interest in sex. Ultimately, he turned to another woman. Yet, she stayed in an ultra-accepting and giving mode. Hoping that at some point her love and caring would turn him around.Instead he moved FARTHER away from her and became more and more EMOTIONALLY DISTANT.

The Crumbs pattern is very common and pretty much guaranteed to do the opposite of what you hope for — instead of drawing your man in, it pushes him away!Talk about relationship frustrations!

When Jean signed up for a free 40-minute mentoring session, her dating coach pointed out her Crumbs Deadly Pattern Pattern. The Love Mentor showed her that she deserved so much more. I’m happy to say that Jean moved on and is now with a terrific guy.

If you like Jean suffer from a Crumbs pattern you may be involved with a guy (maybe married or a hot irresistible player) who sees you occasionally and only when it works in his schedule. If you pay close attention you may see that he is a flaming narcissist, who does not seem to know that anyone outside of himself really exists. He may go through the motions, but fundamentally is not really interested in who you are in your life.

What If He Has Money? Is it Still Taking Crumbs?

If he’s got money, he may buy Manolos or take you to five-star dinners. He may take you to the Promised Land in bed. But he cuts you off if his wife or his “old flame” enters the scene. Mr. Big played this role in. And he’s never available when you need or want him.

This pattern causes you a great deal of sadness and pain and relationship frustration. Yet you think that overall it’s a good deal. You spend a lot of time thinking and fantasizing about him. How he’s going to leave his wife or stop being a player. Or cut back on his work schedule and spend time with you in a rose-covered cottage or on the beach in Maui.

Of course he does make noises or promises in that direction. In your heart of hearts you secretly know that day will never come, but you’re afraid to act on that knowledge. Although you’d never admit it, even to your best friend, you believe that this second-class status is the very best you’ll ever be able to get and you’re damn lucky to have it. That’s real relationship frustration.

The Crumbs Fix:

Give up the crumbs and take a seat at the banquet table. First, break up with the guys that are only giving you crumbs. That will be the first step in ending your relationship frustrations. Then make a rule: I only date men who are (a) available and (b) crazy about me (for real). Try this on for size, even if it means spending time with guys who “aren’t good enough” but who treat you like royalty. By the way, if you do this, the crumb-giver may come around! If he starts courting you, give him a chance. But don’t jump right back in. Slowly let him prove to you that he is changing. Encourage him to go into therapy or love mentoring with you so that you can together create a life that is fulfilling for both of you.

Another True Crumbs Story

Kathie, another Crumbs type, enrolled in our coaching program. Here’s Kathie’s email after she had the courage to break up with her boyfriend:

Just like Kathie, you too can overcome relationship frustrations that are not fulfilling and find the One.

PBS love expert, psychologist & bestselling author, Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. along with her expert team have helped thousands of singles and couples to find love.

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