exclusive dating

How to Know When You Should Become Exclusive with a Guy?

For many smart women, the dating process often goes something like this:

You date around until you meet someone you like. Then you naturally stop dating others and focus on your new sweetie. You may not have had an exclusive dating talk yet, but he’s being so attentive. And, you’re busy with work and other commitments, so you rationalize you don’t have time to keep playing the field. Maybe it just feels so right that you both agree to become exclusive with one another after a few dates.

And then… he freaks out and says he needs space. Or you sense that he’s afraid to commit.

Or, you start to see red flags. That charming guy begins to show signs of a workaholic. The social, fun loving guy seems to drink just a little bit too much. The powerful one is a tad controlling at times.

Ever had this happen to you?

As we talked about in my blog on the #1 Dating Mistake Singles Make, rushing into a relationship often backfires.

The truth is, slow and steady wins the race. Even if you think he is the One, continue dating other guys for at least two months. Even if he asks you to become exclusive right away or says he isn’t dating others, continue to keep your options open. This is so important because it enables you to compare and contrast different men. So you can truly find the best guy for you. You are more able to spot red flags when you take your time getting to know someone. And, this slower process enables you to break patterns of attracting the commitment-phobes who come on strong then bolt.

Worried he’ll be turned off that you want to take things slow? Don’t be! I’ve helped thousands of women get the relationship they want. I promise you that the right guy will stay the course. In fact, slowing things down often gets him to woo you even more! Just be sure to give him lots of positive feedback. Around the second date, say something like: “I am having the best time with you, Rob! You are so funny. I just want to let you know I promised myself I’d take my time. But, I couldn’t imagine liking anyone more than you.”

So, how do you know when it is time to move to become exclusive with a guy?

On the you should only graduate to becoming exclusive after there has been at least two months of consistently improving contact. This means that the two of you are growing closer, and he is more emotionally available and acting more committed to you.

Here are the 7 signs to look for to become exclusive

Carefully watch his behavior towards you. Note if he is:

Getting more affectionate, attentive.
Making more appreciative and loving statements about (or to) you.
Sharing more thoughts and feelings with you.
Introducing you to friends and family members.
Inviting you into his home and sharing it with you.
Filling your needs to be understood, appreciated, romanced and celebrated for who you are.
Wanting a future together.

If this deepening process is in motion, you can consider becoming exclusive with a guy and having sex with him. Make sure it is safe sex!

When you know how to date most effectively, the guys you attract will get better and better over time, until you find that certain person who fits you like a glove. If you’re ready to break dead-end patterns that have resulted in heartbreak and want to finally meet a loyal partner, we’re here to help!

As a PBS love expert, I’ve helped tens of thousands find true love. I will personally match you with a gifted dating coach who will give you a free session by phone or Skype. This is time-limited, so to change your life.

PBS love expert, psychologist & bestselling author, Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. along with her expert team have helped thousands of singles and couples to find love.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store